Introduction
There’s something cozy about when the skies turn gray and the darkness closes in. The midnight hour comes at noon and we watch as the sky lights up with brilliant white streaks.
It isn’t so much the weather, as it is the warmth of feeling safe and protected while water pours from the sky raging in Mother Nature’s lair knowing I have the provisions to weather this storm – food, water, shelter, warmth, electricity, company.
Above all the company reminds me I am safe, and even if safety is threatened, I am happy, because I am not alone. We will go through this storm together. We will feel the feels together. We will ride it out together.
Living alone.
I found myself shuddering
in great fear beneath my stairwell,
trembling with the might of a woman
who feared harm to self
or animals, all while listening to the trees
falling down around my home. The wind
carrying it’s own burden along the path
of tornado alley. Choking on my heart
I barricaded the stairwell - locking dogs, cats,
myself within a the closet under the stairs
while contemplating why I bought a house
without a basement in the midwest.
Today, the storm rages within
rather than without - hail pelts
my heart bruising my arteries
as I watch the cloudy sky for
signs of danger, seeing none,
leaving nothing to chance.
In the next room, I have
something different. Something necessary.
I have people. People who care.
People who do not feel the storm
as it wars both within the walls,
and without. People who look
at the sky, and see clouds, not
the violence hidden within.
People.
People who remember the storm
is just a storm and not just an ending to
your story.
Final Thoughts
When I was younger I liked thunderstorms. The invincibility of youth kept me safe and braver than I should ever have been. Somewhere along the way I grew up and learned we are not invincible. People die. People die from horrible things. Our loved ones die. Now I look at the storm differently, as a wild, uncontrollable thing that threatens our safety. What once felt peaceful, now becomes terrifying. While having company around helps, the fear is real. While peace is hard to find in the thunder these days, I do have people. People who don’t feel the fear I do, and that helps. Sometimes that helps a lot, other times I sit in my stairwell and tremble.
